So hard to choose...

Since I'm a closet Taylor Swift fan, I think I can let my hair down here since it's pretty private.

Fearless

There's somethin' 'bout the way the street looks when it's just rained
There's a glow off the pavement, you walk me to the car
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there
In the middle of the parking lot, yeah

We're drivin' down the road, I wonder if you know
I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now
But you're just so cool, run your hands through your hair
Absent-mindedly makin' me want you

And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless

So baby drive slow 'til we run out of road
In this one horse town, I wanna stay right here
In this passenger seat, you put your eyes on me
In this moment, now capture it, remember it

'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless

Well, you stood there with me in the doorway
My hands shake, I'm not usually this way
But you pull me in and I'm a little more brave
It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin'
It's fearless

'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless

'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
In a storm in my best dress, fearless

---

I'll try to keep the number of times I listen to this song a day down to 50.

It's the start  of another school year (whether or not you want to admit yet) and I can see that the dramas in my life are just getting started... again. Really, sometimes it's beyond me how I manage to get myself into these situations.

However, this time I can honestly say that I had no part in "instigating" (lol Hugo) this particular problem. Actually, it's not even a real problem yet, but I can feel it sprouting up like some troubling weed. Basically, I would have to change my whole personality if I were to have avoided this problem. On the whole, I like my personality, so that's not really a option on my part. =/

The only thing I feel I can do is just hold on for the ride ahead because I gotta feeling that this school year is going to hold more than a few surprises for me. Whether they'll have be positive or negative effects on my life is yet to be seen.

---

Update:
I don't really know anymore. I mean, I still have the same feelings but it's just not the same. I don't know whether I've just detached myself to the point of not caring (as usual) in order to not get hurt, or whether it was not even real  for me, or even if I've just matured to the extent that I actually know what's best for my heart. I seriously doubt that this situation applies to my last notion.

Last night, I had a dream about this and it made me feel so warm and safe. I definitely wasn't expecting the sense of security I felt while dreaming out my secret. When I woke up, I felt like I was missing something. At first I thought it was the fact that its September and I always have that feeling of needing-to-do-something-urgently during school.

But I think it's probably more than that if I admit it to myself. But then again it also hurts when I feel ignored and when I desperately try to rationalize and defuse my stupid hopes and dreams before they drag my heart into trouble... again.